Reasons why you should not buy the Samsung Galaxy S8 | S8+

Reason 1: You don’t want your personal assistant.

It’s not part of your must have to have one of the smartest aritificial assistants that rival Google Assistant, Siri, and Cortana at your fingertips at a click of the button.

Bixby, Samsung’s proprietary assistant, is more than capable of providing your your navigation questions, determine where your sauvignon blanc was manufactured, what landmark you are looking at, and be able to delete all photos of a single person with a command.

No, you do not need this in your life but you will thank the stars someone invented it anyway. You’re welcome.

Reason 2: You don’t need a life companion.

You absolutely have no need for the IP68 dust and water resistance rating of the Galaxy S8 and S8+ that will allow you to capture your moments even under a storm. You will have absolutely no fear in braving the rain sans your umbrella in the middle of an important phonecall you absolutely cannot end.

You will not need Dex, Samsung’s add-on dock that extends your phone’s capabilities to a monitor which will essentailly give you a net book that fits in your pocket.

You will not need the solid metal band that holds the two glass protection together that is an effective means of hitting people with. You will not need the reflective glass surface to check yourself out at anytime of the day.

Reason 3: You don’t want clear and vivid photos and videos even at night.

Yes, this specific Korean giant did not bother upgrading an already great camera setup that people have been gushing about the last year. What they did do, however, was to add more functions, features, and fun face tracking filters to allow anyone to be as quirky as they want to be.

You absolutely have no need for clear and beautiful photos to post on Facebook or Instagram. You don’t want properly focused portraits, selfies, and other creative shots without the need to grab your SLR all the time. Finally, you don’t want to catch your friend mid-sneeze in slow motion just because you can.

Reason 4: You don’t want a great display

The unique 18.5:9 ratio of stretching your display into allowing more content even with your navigation bar, even with the status bar, even with a split screen.

The super AMOLED screen will not be bright enough for your viewing pleasure under direct sunlight becuase it’s not that helpful at all. It won’t be bright enough at night to aid you in locating your glasses.

So no, it’s not a good idea to get the Samsung Galaxy S8 or S8+ for yourself. It’s actually a great idea.

Drew Uy

I do words, food, coffee, and photos. Hit me up on Twitter @ginuhit

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